Rick Ousley is the latest in a growing line of men exposed for being an adulterer while being in a position of ministry leadership. Ousley had retired in recent years from his position as founding pastor of The Church at Brook Hills in the Birminham, Alabama area. Since then he has been a featured speaker through Quixotic Ministries and was chaplain of the Samford University football team.
I have never met Ousley. I have heard him preach. My advice is from someone who was exposed for the same sin 10 years ago. It is a two-fold piece of advice.
First, Ousley cannot become clean until he comes clean. If you look at my previous post, I refer to Psalm 51. Cleansing is possible, but not easy. From the early media reports, it appears that Ousley is not being very forthright. I understand this. Did it myself, but know that it is destructive. Ousley admits to having an affair in the fall of 2005. According the account of the woman, the affair was not limited to that time frame. Also, it appears that Ousley is probably guilty of the same sin with at least one other woman and attempted to be adulterous with another.
Rick, don’t let your family and friends get this kind of information bit by bit. Own up to whatever you did. I was initially confronted by my oldest (college age at the time) son. I will never forget his words, “Dad, 20 years of respect is gone.” Instead of owning up to what I knew that he knew, I attempted to make him seem confused. My wife, at the time, never really got over the fact that I made things difficult for our son. She was right to be offended for him. I still regret my actions that day, and am delighted that my son and I have rebuilt a very healthy relationship over the years.
Partial information that comes out at various times, just adds insult and injury to those already insulted and injured. You already look bad. You have already lost your reputation. Don’t try to salvage any of that. At some point, you will want to build a better name for yourself, but now is not the time. It is time to think of those who are most hurt. The adulterer also hurts, but deserves it. I deserved the depression, the torment, the sense of loss. My wife and kids did not.
My other advice is for Quixotic Ministries. Ousley’s attorney (I confess that I’m a bit worried about that – don’t lawyer up) indicated that the ministry would reevaluate his suspension from speaking in 3 months. What??? 3 months??? At this point, that should be the last thing on anyone’s mind. I’ll not debate the issue of future preaching at this point because it should not even be an issue. At this point his only concern should be honestly trying to discover God and dealing with the hurt he has caused.
