The Legacy of a Fallen Pastor

Two weeks ago the former pastor of Highview Baptist Church in Louisville passed away.  For 25 years Bill Hancock served as pastor of this church until his tenure came to a sudden end.  It ended in 1995 due to his marital infidelity.  After he left, ugly details circulated as he headed to rebuild his life in Texas.  He found a way to minister to hurting people by working for a funeral home.  The reporting of his death by the newspaper in Louisville has generated quite a bit of buzz.  Some of the comments were gracious and thankful for his positive influences in people’s lives.  Others gave evidence of having been hurt by the duplicitous life of this Christian leader.  Still others were extremely harsh towards a man who demonstrated the height of hypocrisy.

As I read through the articles and comments about this man, I thought about my own legacy — what it will be.  My story is similar to Hancock’s in many ways.  First, his fall came while serving as the pastor of a baptist church in Louisville, Kentucky.  So did mine.

Second, his fall came over a decade ago in 1995.  Mine happened two years later in 1997.  I had moved to Louisville in January of 1996 to do PhD work at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and was pastor of the new Trinity Baptist Church (since merged with Clifton Baptist Church).  I remember visiting Highview Baptist Church in my early days in Louisville.  This was after Hancock’s tenure.

Third, some of the same people were involved in the cleanup of both falls.  Highview was strongly connected to Southern Seminary since it was the home church for President Al Mohler.  I was a student and a teaching fellow at Southern.  I don’t know about Hancock, but I had many face to face encounters with some of the folks at Southern.

In response to the printed account and responses to Hancock’s death, I am left with a number of things that I know and some things that I question.  Here are some of my thoughts:

1.  I am extremely grateful for those who have demonstrated grace and forgiveness to me.  It is obvious that Hancock had many who treated him the same way.  Some of these people will never know (this side of heaven) what that grace has meant to me.  Last week I received a phone call from one of these guys.  He was merely checking to see how I am doing and to chat.  I hung up the phone with a surge of gratitude to God for such a friend.

2.  I understand those who have a hard time expressing that kind of grace.  I cannot demand nor expect them to wipe the slate clean.  In fact, I have never understood those who so egregiously violate trust and expect others to forgive when an apology is offered.  If it is expected and can be demanded, then it is not grace.  Hancock nor I deserve to be forgiven and to have grace extended to us.  The problem is not with the response of people.  The problem was in our betrayal of our pastoral fidelity.

3.  I know that the consequences for this kind of sin will always exist, even if we leave this world.  Our actions have tarnished our name and the name of our God.  God can handle the defense of his name because of his holiness.  I have no defense.

4.  I know that the consequences are not limited to the individual sinner.  My family, in particular, was deeply wounded by my actions.  Several people expressed sorrow for Hancock’s family for having to read about this one segment in the life of their kin.  Unfortunately, that’s part of the deal.  My children will always have a father who failed to demonstrate godly love towards their mother.  They will continue to have to split holidays and special occasions.

5.  I am a bit envious that Hancock found a way to minister to hurting people.  I try to do the same in my writings and personal interactions with people.  My path has taken me into the business world.  I hope that I have had a godly influence on those with whom I have encountered.  Too often I have failed at that, too.

6.  I also have realized afresh that the sin of adultery did not negate the genuine heart-felt love and ministry to those before the fall.  One writer indicated that his own marriage has been solid and wonderful as a result of the teaching and advice received from Hancock prior to his/her wedding day.  I have heard from many of those among whom I had lived and ministered that have benefited spiritually from my pastoral leadership.

7.  I hope that those who are currently in pastoral ministry or preparing for the ministry will learn from those of us who have fallen.  It wasn’t worth it.  Period.

8.  I long to stand before my Lord and fall before the one who gave his life for my sin.  Hancock has now experienced that.

A few weeks ago, I opened up an email late at night while laying in my bed.  It was from somebody very dear to me.  It was a message of grace and love.  It expressed admiration for growing through this horrendous time of life and demonstrating a better love to those around me.  The message left me unable to speak with tears flowing down my cheeks.  Any struggles, as painful as they have been, pale in comparison to this amazing demonstration of grace.

I pray that I will continue to grow, be gracious and loving.  I pray that when I die, my legacy will be more than the stupidity of my actions in 1997.

Picture of the Week

My grandson, Caleb, begins his modeling career (while Mom isn't looking).

Are You at Risk for Diabetes?

Are you, or somebody you know, at risk for diabetes?  Today, March 23rd, is American Diabetes Alert Day.  It is a one day wake-up call to inform about the seriousness of diabetes in America.  Currently 23.6 million Americans have diabetes.  I am one of them.  Could you be at risk?

Click on the link for Diabetes Risk Test to see if you are at risk.  Early detection was an important factor in controlling my disease.  Diabetes effects the coronary system, the kidneys, the feet and the eyes.  Don’t let it sneak up on you.

Let Us Garden – Draw Near

This is part 4 of a series using the “Let us” statements of Hebrews to spur us to mutual maturity in Christ.  I am using the somewhat ridiculous imagery of a garden of lettuce.  Each article or statement is a different head in our gardens.  Previous garden spots (don’t forget to keep cultivating these) are:

1.  Let Us Fear

2.  Let Us Strive

3.  Let Us Hold Fast

This part of the garden is an amazing part.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

–Hebrews 4:16

Can you fathom that we are urged by God to draw near to his throne?  Several thoughts race in my mind.

1.  We are to draw near to his throne.  We often think of God as our Father.  That, indeed, he is.  But it would be easy to imagine a father inviting his children to draw near to him.  But here we are to think of God as our King.  Kings sit on thrones.  This is not just any king or any throne.  This is the King of Kings and the throne is the place from which he rules and governs.  Normally kings only invite those who are loyal to the throne.  After all we have been pretty lousy subjects.  We have broken his laws and wavered in our allegiance to our great king.  Yet still he urges us to draw near to his throne.

2.  This is a throne of grace. God is a benevolent king.  He offers grace at his throne.  Although we have failed to be loyal, we come to find his gracious hand.  It is here that we receive mercy and grace in our time of need.  We can think of mercy as not receiving judgment for our law breaking.  We can think of grace as receiving God’s favor and strength in our weakness.

3.  We can approach this throne with confidence.  This confidence is not rooted in ourselves.  It is rooted in God.  The confidence with which we approach the throne is the assurance that God will not condemn us for our sinfulness and that he will give grace for our needs.

Subjects approached thrones in humility.  This was usually symbolized by the subject kneeling and/or bowing before the king.  It is an acknowledgment that he is God and we are not.  He is the king.  We are the subjects.  So, you are bid to come to the throne.  Come when you need mercy.  Come when you need grace.  Come when you desire to bathe in his presence.  Nothing is as amazing as this.  Draw near.

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Let Us Garden – Hold Fast

This is the third article in a series on the statements in Hebrews which begin with the words, “Let us.”  Each of these are biblical admonitions for mutual pursuits.  As fellow believers we are to join together in pursuing the particular aspect of each phrase.  If you want to catch up, here are the first 2 articles:

1.  Let Us Fear

2.  Let Us Strive

This third article or head of “let us” in the garden is “Let Us Hold Fast.”  It is taken from the following passage of Scripture:

Let us hold fast our confession.

–Hebrews 4:14

It is sad when a person who has claimed Christ turns from that confession.  Often the reasons cited for this turning have to do with individual or gatherings of those who claim to be Christian.  The writer of Hebrews tells us that our reason to hold fast to this confession is not people, but Christ.  He is our GREAT high priest.  He is not just good, he is great.  As our high priest he grants us access into the presence of God.  The God who is holy and without a priest like Jesus, we are alienated from him.

We are to hold fast.  That is hold on with a firm grip.  One might hold on to a rope with fingers loosely around the rope if we are merely holding something in place.  But put that rope at the top of a cliff, we would hold on for dear life until our hands ached.  Still we would not let go.  In the same manner, we are to hold to our confession of Christ.

When Jesus asked the disciples who they said he was, Peter declared, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”  He declared that there was no where else to go except after Christ.  May it be so for you and me.

Let Us Garden – Strive

Thanks to readers for the responses to the first installment in this series of Let Us Garden. My hope is that these articles will challenge us to a mutual pursuit of the things of God.  You even indulged my corny play on words (let us vs. lettuce).  The best response was in an email from Tammy Bias, Thanks again for this food for thought. I wish I had thought of that.

God speaks to us in the book of Hebrews and repeatedly exhorts, “let us” with a particular focus of mutual pursuit.  So let’s add another head to the garden.  This time it is “let us strive” taken from Hebrews 4:11.

Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.

–Hebrews 4:11

That rest is the destination of our journey – life eternal with God.  We are to strive to get there.  As we read through Hebrews, we are challenged to make sure that we are not merely close to God and the things of God.  We are told that some get so close that they can taste it, but don’t actually eat.  They eventually fall away.  It is a sad thing when those who have claimed Christ disown him.  Some disown Christ because of hardship.  Others because of intellectual struggle.  Either way it is disobedience.  We are called to obedience that recognizes God as our father.  He cares for us even when we might question his care.

How do we strive and avoid this kind of disobedience?  How do we know we have eaten and not merely tasted?  The answer is the Bible.  Hebrews 4:12 indicates the power of the Bible.  It discerns the thoughts and intentions of our heart.  So get into God’s word as you strive to enter his rest.

Let Us Garden – Fear

I apologize at the outset for the corny play on words.  More on that in a minute.  This morning I was doing a search for a passage of Scripture from Hebrews.  I discovered that when God spoke to us in the book of Hebrews, he repeats a phrase that exhorts us to serious reflection and action.  One of the ways to study the Bible is to note recurring themes or words in a particular section.  In Hebrews the phrase let us is used repeatedly.  Each time we should pay particular note to what follows.

As an aide to memory, I am employing the visual word play of let us and lettuce.  There is no connection of meaning between the two similar sounds.  So bear with me.  Think about having a lettuce garden in your back yard.  Each row will be filled with heads of lettuce.  Each head represents one of the let us statements from the book of Hebrews.  So here is the first one:

Therefore, while the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us fear lest any of you should seem to have failed to reach it.

– Hebrews 4:1

This is a sobering call for us to have fear.  Not the kind of fear that paralyzes us, but the kind of fear that causes us to avoid taking God for granted.  Would you join God in that rest from a life racked by weariness and sin?  Would you find eternal refreshment in the presence of God?  We are promised this if we cling to Christ and his grace.  Yet it is not a cheap grace that we easily hold.  It is a grace paid for by the blood of our Savior that we emphatically embrace.

The imagery in the verse is that of journeying on a destination.  Joining God in his rest is the destination.  We cannot come up short.  Is your target merely the benefits of God or is it God himself?  Is your love for God only for what he gives you, or is it for who he is?  Is your faith based on your keeping religious habits or is it in Christ alone?

Sojourn Community Church – 10 Years

Sojourn Community Church is 10 years old.  The following video is a short recap of these first 10 years with a look forward to the future.  Sojourn has been instrumental in my life.  The video does show a view of the congregation when meeting in the early years.  At the 3:22 mark of the video you can see me sitting on the second row with my hands in front of my face.  Although I am somewhat disguised by my hands, you should be able to recognize me.  Most of those around are at least 20 years younger than I.

Sojourn Past from Sojourn Community Church on Vimeo.

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