BOOKS: Just in time for Christmas from Joel Osteen, “Your Best Life Now Book of Martyrs”

CHURCH: Mark Dever unveils the 10th mark of a healthy church: Green bean tater tot casserole topped with Durkee french fried onions.

THEOLOGY: The ETS (Evangelical Theological Society) has announced the topic for its next gathering – Vampires: Under Grace or Under Law?

HEALTH: B sample confirms John Piper tested positive for steroids after at least two separate sermons in 2008.

WORLD: Descendants of Balaam’s Ass speak out against animal cruelty.

FINANCE: Inexplicably, after hearing about a downturn in giving at the Crystal Cathedral, the owners of Windex make a significant donation.

BOOKS: An other Christmas release, ‘Good Morning Holy Mackerel – Spirit Filled Sport Fishing With Benny Hinn’

INNOVATION: Genius puts picture of Jesus on $100.00 bill thereby creating a way to serve both God and mammon.

PRAYER: Texas Pastor comes through surgery well. Thanks to all who interceded, Joel Osteen’s tummy tuck was successful.

MISSIONS: Dreaming big things for God, YWAM sends a courageous team of go-getters to The Island in Lost.

@XIANITY now has over 800 followers.  You may want to follow him on twitter as well as follow me @fgantz.

Recently I began following @XIANITY on Twitter.  The Twitter account has the motto:Unreal News On Real Religion.  Tweets are satirical comments about modern Christianity.  Most are funny.  Some are hilarious.  If you are on Twitter, you might want to add this account to your follow list.

Please don’t be offended.  Several of the comments are about groups or people which are akin to me.  We can laugh at ourselves and others.  Since most humor has some element of truth, we also should look closely at some of the things going on around us.

Here are my favorites from the past week:

1. TRAVEL: Kenneth & Gloria Copeland distraught after FAA restricts private plane carry on bags to 12 per person.
2. SHOPPING: 7 Christians trampled to death and many injured at area mall in Black Friday rush for Thomas Kinkade 50% off sale.
3. T.U.L.I.P.S.? Unpublished reformation manuscript confirms 6th point of Calvinism that many suspected existed all along: Smug Superiority
4. PUBLISHING: Prosperity Gospel Study Bible released minus Hebrews 11, the Gospels, and other pesky passages.
5. CULTURE: “Try reading your Bible” and “I’ll pray for you” tie for best closing line in a heated theological argument.
6. TOURISM: Church of the Holy Sepulcher moves to Tel Aviv to accommodate growing number of visitors.
7. COMMUNITY: Unable to maintain charade, ACTS29 church-planter tearfully confesses to not liking beer.
8. CULTURE: Feminist Pastor misses point entirely by naming her church ‘Venus Hill’
9. THEOLOGY: Tired of trying to get Rob Bell to define the Gospel, critics settle for him simply spelling it correctly.
10. HEALTH: At his current rate of weight loss, Ed Stetzer will vanish completely at 11:32am on April 17, 2016

When somebody misappropriates a famous quote, it can either be amusing or sad.  To misappropriate a quote is to apply the saying of somebody in a manner which the original speaker did not intend.

An example of an amusing misappropriation has often been found in church nurseries:

We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed.

The original source for the quote is the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthian church.  It is a statement about the reality of the final resurrection.  The church nursery implications about babies is pretty cute.

Recently, First Baptist Church of Dallas announced a $130 million building project in downtown Dallas.  Watching the video presentation is impressive.  However, I am a little uneasy with appropriating to the project this Bible verse:

Let us go up to the house of the Lord.

I’m not sure that the Psalmist intended this to apply to escalators that lead to a worship center built above the ground floor of a church complex.  The problem with this is that for “a people of the book” it justifies an expensive action wrongly based on the text.

I saw another example of this type of thing when driving around Nashville this week.  On a sidewalk bench, an advertisement donned the back of the bench.  On the ad was the words from the end of Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a Dream” speech.

Free at last.

My interest wondered what product or service was being promoted using this amazing statement.  How about a bail bondsman???

I’m not sure that MLK had this in mind.  Get arrested.  Call the bail bondsman.  Get free.

We need to be careful when we use a quote to apply to something other than what the person quoted intended.  Obvious humor or making a pun is fine.  Think twice before misappropriating a quote for a serious matter.